I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
