Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
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You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
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is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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