You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
