Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
