Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped