She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off