I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
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The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
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Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.