Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED