New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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