Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
