I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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