So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
