Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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