you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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