Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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