She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
