Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
