My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just want to make out with him forever
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
