watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
