I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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