I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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