Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
