I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We're too hungover to prance.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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