I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
