Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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