Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
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Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
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I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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