I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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