I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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