Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
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He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
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I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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