He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
