what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
