My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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