marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
