She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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