youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
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