im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
