If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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