dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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