Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
