you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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