I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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