Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
