Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
