I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
