Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize