ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
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I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
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Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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