you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
