careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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