i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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