i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
