I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I am one with the molecules
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
