Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
