The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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