i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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