I wish I only lived at night.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
