I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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