she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
