WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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