dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
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