who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize