Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize