Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize