whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
