I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
