i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize