he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
