i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
