yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
