watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
