her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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